On Surrounding Yourself With Your Tribe

I just returned from a 4-day coaching conference, and want to share with you my biggest takeaways. 

     1.  Sitting in a conference room chair for 4 straight days wreaks havoc on your body.        

Who knew that not doing anything makes you more sore than working out? (Or am I just showing my age here?) When I got home, I felt as if I’d been hit by a Mack truck. But, then, it made a great excuse to get a back massage. 

     2. Being in a room of 150+ people who all talk your talk and walk your walk is priceless.

No matter whom you sit next to, or have dinner with, or share a sink in the ladies’ room with, that person is instantly your friend and you have no doubt that s/he gets you. It also makes you realize that there are many people in your day-to-day life that are not lifting you up. 

     3. There is always someone who is way ahead of you in their journey, and also someone who is way behind. 

Once you realize this, you come to terms with the fact that life is not a race. Those who are farther along than we are should inspire us, not make us jealous. They are paving our way. They are showing us how to do it so that we may do it even better. Those who are behind are in need of our guidance, and it’s our duty to hold out our hand to pull them up. 

What does this have to do with divorce? Everything.

  1. Okay, maybe not the chair part.
  2. Surround yourself with yaysayers, not naysayers. If someone is making you feel bad or guilty or ashamed, avoid them. (You can let them back in later when you are stronger.)
  3. More couples divorce than not. You are not alone. Some women are in a better place in their divorce, and others are in a worse place. Ask for help. And offer help when you’re ready.

So today, go out and find your tribe. The people who have gone through or who are going through the same thing you are. You’ll find support. And love. I promise.


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